Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Tuesday Tantrum: Where's the blurb? Stupid things authors do.

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There are many things that authors do that make no bloody sense to me, but I have to say, this one takes one of the top prizes for STUPID.

Please explain to me why do authors put excerpts and review quotes in the place of a synopsis/blurb on Amazon, Goodreads, etc.?

Do your blurb writing skills suck that much or are you just dumb? WHY would you do this?

If you say that it's to promote the book, then I will (if I could) reach through this screen and smack you. That little area called "Book Description" on Amazon or "Overview" on B&N is NOT where you promote your book. You wanna post excerpts? Get a blog. Wanna share review quotes? Tweet that shit. Do not waste my time and make me swim through a bunch of nonsense to find out what the book is about. I will move on and forget your book even exists, and I bet a lot of readers would do the same.

I'm only saying this for your own good. You've got to understand how annoying it is to see a book that interests you on Amazon, click on it, and be bombarded with quote after quote of shit you're going to read in the book anyway. It's ridiculous! All posting excerpts in lieu of the synopsis says to me is that you don't actually think your writing is any good and you are using this opportunity to showcase your shaky skills in hopes that readers will tell you that you're wrong by buying your book. Looks like the desperate move of a desperate author. But hey, that's just my opinion,

And the review quotes! ARGH! Isn't that what the "Customer Reviews" are for? I could almost (though still annoying) see you posting ONE quote from another successful and well-known author. But six review quotes from people like "Andy May's Blog" doesn't mean a damn thing to me! Who the hell is Andy May and why should I care what she has to say about your book?

Honestly, people. This is an idiotic practice that must END. It's an aggravating waste of time that will more than likely annoy the hell out of readers than entice them to buy your book. And if you suck at writing blurbs, hire someone. But don't think that substituting excerpts is going to get you off the hook. A blurb is almost a REQUIREMENT for publishing a book and those of you who are calling yourselves "just trying to be different" are really just pissing everybody off. So...just stop it.

Stop it.

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