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Wednesday, May 21, 2014

"Unique, clever, funny" NGLND XPX by @dieselelephants #scifi #comedy



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NGLND XPX

Written by Ian Hutson

Genre: Sci-fi, Comedy

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Do you need a rest from intergalactic wars and interminable accidents with viruses? Do you love chuckling at the ridiculous and enjoy letting your mind drift through time and space, through thought-provoking but impractical science fiction? Are you at all familiar with the words 'farce' and 'satire' and 'verbosity'?

Would you welcome a total absence of swords and dragons in some stories instead stuffed to the brim with Victorian inventor chaps, steam trains, dustbin-lid flying saucers and splendid colonial-types playing cricket on rogue comets?

What if the author were to throw in the piecemeal migration of the whole Human species in ultra-cheap Model-T Virgin-red space vehicles, an old-age pensioner forced into military service in the Bug Wars, and Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth entertainin' some very polite aliens on the lawn at Buckingham Palace? 

Scientific science fiction this isn't and space-opera is a term that simply doesn't apply here. This 100,000 word anthology is the complete antithesis of glitzy Hollywooden sci-fi. It is tongue-in-cheek England-centric recent future history as it never was, as it never would be. It's pure escapism, with tea and good manners.

No sex, no endless stream of gratuitous violence, and the only really unpleasant moment is when an especially-stupid Labrador dog is space-sick in his goldfish bowl helmet. Chin-chin, tickettyboo, and do please smoke me a kipper - I'll be back in time for a cold G&T as the sun sinks over the last myths of the British Empire. 

CONTENTS 

  • The Model-T Virgin
  • Begging Your Pardon, My Lord, But Cook’s Been Eaten Again
  • Robots Knitting With Rubber Needles
  • Je Pense It’s All Going Very Bien
  • Footloose, En Pas De Basque
  • iG-0-D
  • In Which Mr Cadwallader Shampoos His Parrot In The Rain Using Some Very Dated Popular Science
  • Diary Of A National Service Chap
  • Blood-Curdling Screams And The Whitworth Screw-Thread
  • The Day The Earth Took Tea


An excerpt from

NGLND XPX


.

Here's what

Fans are saying


There’s something about British humor that always tickles me so I was hoping NGLAND XPX would not disappoint. Not only was I not disappointed, I was in fact delighted with the ten short stories within. Each story, in its own way, spoke volumes about the author’s view of our current status as a society. With his tongue firmly planted in his cheek, he delivers page after page of honest (I dare say to a fault) insights about the state of our “civilization.”

However, Hutson’s truth is not told spitefully. Not at all. Because married within the lines of satire are glimpses of hope and possibility, often in the form of an animal or mechanical device. This humanity, which we humans are often lacking, can still be found in our world (and the future) if we look hard enough.

This is not a book that you will be able to read while multitasking. Hutson’s writing style requires your full and undivided attention, but I promise your attention will be rewarded.

Highly recommend to those looking to give their brains (as well as their hearts and their funny bones) a workout. And, as for the title, I do believe, Mr. Hutson, that you have done your duty.



I have been dying to read to this book for a long time and it did not disappoint!! Ian Hutson in his eccentric, highly intelligent and "madder than the mad hatter" humour, delivered ten stories reminiscent of the narration of Dr. Suez combined with the eloquent high English of Jane Austin novels in tales so over-the-top satirical, off-the-rocker funny (literally) and sometimes ironic that you can not help but love his work!

He has a paradoxical "go" at England, some Political figures and famous figures, songs and every nationality know to man!

There is no way to possibly rate and review each story, as words can not do them justice. The unique, clever, funny and completely "tongue in cheek" stories in this book can be summed up in this excerpt:

"There follows a distressing account that I present verbatim, word for word, step for tragic step, entirely as it was presented to me, and other distracting repetitions, and redundancies, and extra commas, from the private psychologico-scientifical journals of a gentleman very familiar with the history of some better families in the Lesser Updyke Downdale area of t'Greater Oop-North. Breathe, damn you, breathe- that was just one sentence, you have a long way to go yet..."

— NJ10


Author Bio

Ian Hutson


Born during tiffin in the sea-side town of Cleethorpes, England, at half-past nineteen-sixty. Whole family immediately moved to Hong Kong where Father worked for the Ministry of Defence, spying on Cold-War Red China by listening in to their radio transmissions. Hutson Minor spoke only Cantonese and some pidgin English and was a complete brat.

At the end of the sixties was to be found on the Isle of Lewis in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland. Still a brat. There finally learned to read and write under the strict disciplinarian regime of the Nicolson Institute and one Miss Crichton. Then spent a year living in Banham Zoo in Norfolk, swapping childhood imaginary friends for howler monkeys, penguins.

Followed, for want of something better to do and for want of a brain, in Daddy's footsteps and found himself working for the British Civil Service in areas much too foul to be named. Was eventually asked to leave by the Home Secretary. A few years of corporate life earned some more kind invitations to leave. Ran a few businesses, several limited companies, then went down the plug-hole with the global economy and found himself in court, bankrupt with home, car and valuables auctioned off by H.M. Official Receivers. Now lives by candlelight in a hedgerow in rural Lincolnshire as a peacenik vegan hippie drop-out, darning old socks and living on fresh air and a sense of the ridiculous.

Dog person not a cat person. Favourite colours include faded tangerine and cobalt blue. Fatally allergic to Penicillin and very nearly so to Jerusalem Artichokes. Loves coffee and loves curry. Has tried his hardest all of his life to ride bicycles but simply looks like a deranged, overweight orang-utan on wheels. Favourite film Blade Runner. Uses the word "splendid" far too much.

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